Blaming it on Eve…why men abuse women and the world just watches
Chapter 7 – Male Violence Against Women – Choice or DNA ?
Violence is a learned behavior it is not embedded within the male Y chromosome. Violence is a mind decision, not a DNA or cell abnormality.
Napoleon Hill said…”as them mind of man thinketh, so he becomes”. Our lives are the sum of the choices we make in life. Male violence against women is a choice some men make and some do not. Violence is a learned behavior. Men can choose to follow what they have seen in their own family when they were a child, or choose to respect women instead, and not try to control women through violence. Women use violence as well but they do not use violence against men as often as men do against women. A woman is 90% more likely to be assaulted by a man, than a man being violently assaulted by a woman. Why does society accept violence against women by men as a natural masculine condition? It is not a natural choice, but a learned way to deal with the desire to control.
Another question people should be asking is why do men employ violence against women to get their way, while women do not? Again it is a learned, socially reinforced behavior. It however can be changed through education and through changed societal values. It is nearly impossible to make permanent cultural changes however when society reinforces it through religion, the media, in business and in cultural norms.
Most men are not violent against women. Another question we should ask is then, why are some men violent towards women and why are others not? Again it gets back to using our minds. As humans we make choices. We think about something and then choose what course of action to take.
Those men that follow societal norms that reinforces violence, and those men that saw it as boys have a choice. They have to decide, using the power of their mind what course to take. It always gets down to self-responsibility. Choose violence or choose cooperation.In my book, Blaming it on Eve…why men abuse women and the world just watches, I talk about the domestic violence I lived through as a young boy. And I talk about the choice I made at that time.
At a preschool age we should teach young boys the consequences, and benefits of each path they choose, and of each choice they make about violence.
“I won’t tell you that the world matters nothing, or the world’s voice, or the voice of society. They matter a good deal. They matter far too much. But there are moments when one has to choose between living one’s own life, fully, entirely, completely—or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands. You have that moment now. Choose!” …Oscar Wilde
Religion has for the past 5,000 years had a major impact on mans violence and dominance over women. At best religion is silently condoning it, and at its worst, some religions state domination of man over women is Gods will.
“Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Genesis 3:16)
The media exploits violence against women. Advertising presents the women as the seducers. Women in the mass media are repeatedly depicted in submissive, silenced, and even victimized roles. Women are valued less than men in business. Even in industrialized countries there are large differences in salaries by gender, even within the same occupations. On top of that, there are promotion obstacles for women and women tend to get “sorted” in low-paying professions, sometimes even by the force of law. Business has up to recently favored men over women in the workforce. Government plays a role as well. We train young boys minds to kill in war. It is not a natural human desire to kill another human. It can however be trained and manipulated in a young boys mind. A recent statistic is alarming. As many soldiers who have been killed in battle in the Middle East have on coming back home committed suicide. The natural male mind does not want to kill.
To end violence against women we have to recognize that we as a culture are furthering it. Only when we recognize male violence against women as a created thing in the human mind, and not a natural thing in the human genes, will we finally end it. Enlightenment and love are the final answer. Somehow we all have to reconnect to our deeper spiritual essence. In the early history of Humankind when cultures were egalitarian, not male dominated, we were more connected to our spiritual force. We recognized the value man and woman brought to the world.
Modern society has lost its connection to its spiritual side. In doing so it has lost its way. Somehow we have to bring a balance of both mind and spirit back into society, and into the choices each of us make on the issues of men and women.